i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
you had me at cake vodka
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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