dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
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