There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
