Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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