At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
