After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
