I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
