I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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