he shaved USA in his pubs
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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