we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
