is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Randomize
