just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
