Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
