I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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