For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
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Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
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My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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