I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
