I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just gargled with NyQuil
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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