About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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