My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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