....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
