Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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