Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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