I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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