You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
