So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
