I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
