Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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