Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
