Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
