i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
