You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
