we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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