I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize