whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
