ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
