Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
