Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
