Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
