the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
