I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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