Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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