keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
