There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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