just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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