How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Floor bacon is actually really good
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
