I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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