He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
