Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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