so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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