with your own penis?
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
