i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
