I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize