well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
