Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
