I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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