The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
