Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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