..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
