Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
