Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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