Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize