She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize