Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
