Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
